


Torn

by Dreaminofyou



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-11
Updated: 2017-07-11
Packaged: 2018-11-30 23:16:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11473722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dreaminofyou/pseuds/Dreaminofyou
Summary: Delphine needs to dig deeper and find out information. How will she do it? (My take on 1x08) One-shot.





	Torn

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own Orphan Black. All credit goes to them for creating this show.

** Torn **

 

Thunder and lightning lit up the sky as I sat in my car waiting for the storm to pass. Dark black clouds covered every inch of the sky and the sun was nowhere in sight. As I sat in my car, I couldn’t help but think how I got to this exact point in my life. How did I get caught up with these people? What if I hadn’t accepted that job offer to work with Dr. Leekie? Where would I be now? Married? Have children?

 

I leaned my head against the cool car window and shut my wandering eyes. I was parked outside of Cosima’s apartment. I had an umbrella so I could easily use it and quickly run to the door but something was keeping me here. Was this my conscience telling me not to go through with this?

 

Cosima was a beautiful, smart, intelligent person who deserved better than this. After I pushed her away the other day she kissed me, how was I supposed to go in there and act like I _wanted_ her? I could hear Dr. Leekie’s voice over and over in my head “ _do whatever it takes to gain her trust._ _Do what you do best. It surely worked on me”_

I sighed out and shook my head at the memory. If you’re wondering whether I slept with Leekie to further my career, then you’re right on target. It’s not something I’m proud of. It happened and there’s no going back.

 

The sound of my phone startled me in my seat and I placed my hand over my racing heart. I picked my phone up from the cup holder and my eyes widened at the name displayed across the screen.

 

_Cosima_

Could she see me waiting outside of her apartment? I quickly entered my passcode to my phone and opened the message, my heart beating out of my ribcage.

 

_Can we please talk? I’m sorry about yesterday._

I sighed out in relief that she hadn’t noticed I was outside her apartment. This was about the fifth text she had sent me. I hadn’t replied to any of them, not knowing what to say. When she kissed me the other day, I was completely caught off guard. How did no one tell me she was attracted to women? I guess I should have known, I mean why would they hire a _woman_ to be her monitor instead of a man?

 

That night I went home, I couldn’t think of anything else but that kiss. Never in my life have I kissed another women nor have I thought of doing so. When Cosima kissed me, I surprised myself. Why didn’t I immediately pull away? Why did I let her lips connect with mine? Was I just completely caught off guard? Or was I curious to know what a woman’s lips felt like?

 

The rain had started to die down and had turned into a light sprinkle. It was now or never. I could get out of the car and confront Cosima, or I could take the easy way out and put this off another day.

 

I shook my head and decided to get out of the car knowing I would have another sleepless night if I put this off again. I took a deep breath and reached for the door handle. I looked at my reflection in the rear view mirror and nodded to myself. I could do this. There was nothing to be afraid of. Why was I so nervous though?

 

I pulled the handle to my car and opened the door. Tiny rain droplets fell on top of my head as I quickly exited the vehicle and jogged towards the entrance. I made my way up the stairs to the third floor where Cosima’s apartment was. I froze as her apartment came into view. My breathing became rapid and I could feel my heart palpating in my chest. What in the world was going on with me? I’ve never felt like this before, so nervous and anxious. What was it about Cosima that made me feel this way?

 

I shook my head trying to rid my brain of all these racing thoughts and took a few steps forward until I was right in front of her door. I could hear light music coming from behind the door. I raised my hand slowly and took another deep breath before I knocked on the door a few times.

 

I could hear light footsteps approaching and I closed my eyes and put on my game face.

 

“Delphine,” Cosima said, her eyes widening a bit as she opened the door for me.

 

“Come in please,” Cosima stepped aside and held her arm out gesturing me to step into the apartment.

 

I smiled and nodded not knowing what else to say in that moment. Hopefully she broke the ice and started to talk before me.

 

I started to take off my coat and I jumped lightly at the feel of Cosima’s hands on my back.

 

“Uh sorry, your arm was stuck…I was just…” she said stepping back and letting me finish taking my coat off myself.

 

“No, its okay,” I replied, waving my hand towards her like it was no big deal. Why did her touch send shockwaves throughout my body?

 

“Look I’m just gonna come out and say it. I’m so sorry about the other day. I don’t really know what came over me when I kissed you but I totally get it…you’re straight,” she said taking my coat from my hands and all I could do was nod.

 

“I…I’m sorry too, for the way I reacted. I…you caught me off guard and I’m sorry I left like that,” I said shaking my head as I took a step towards her.

 

“No. God, Delphine, you have nothing to apologize for. I shouldn’t have assumed…” she said and I felt an ache in my chest at the sight of her. She looked embarrassed and was avoiding eye contact.

 

“Hey,” I said reaching up and placing my hand gently on her shoulder, “it’s okay.” I rubbed her shoulder gently and after a few seconds she looked up at me, flashing me that beautiful smile of hers.

 

“I just don’t want you to be uncomfortable around me. This has happened before with other friends when they’ve found out I’m a lesbian,” Cosima said shaking her head lightly as she looked down at the floor.

 

“Cosima, look at me,” I said reaching up and placing my fingertips on her chin. I gently lifted her chin up and finally her eyes met mine.

 

“I’m going to be honest. I haven’t been able to think of anything other than that kiss,” I said and Cosima’s face lit up. She knitted her eyebrows and stared up at me for a few seconds, probably processing what I had just said.

 

“Like in a bad way?” Cosima asked, looking slightly afraid of what I may answer.

 

“No, I… I have never really thought about bisexuality, for myself. As a scientist though, I know that sexuality is a spectrum. But, you know, social biases, they codified attraction. It's contrary to the biological facts... you know?” I said, not even sure I was making sense.

 

“Yeah, no, I totally understand. In a way, it sounds slighting encouraging,” Cosima said, taking a step towards me. I gulped and realized this was my chance. I brought both my hands up towards her cheeks and slowly caressed them. Her skin was so soft underneath my fingertips. I brushed the pad of my thumb gently across her bottom lip and pulled her towards me.

 

Our lips met and I could feel Cosima sigh gently into my mouth. Her lips felt even softer than they did the last time they were pressed against mine. I pulled her in closer, opening my mouth and letting my tongue slide into her mouth.

 

Kissing her was so different from kissing a guy. Every time I’ve deepened a kiss with a guy, they immediately think it’s an invitation to shove their tongue down my throat. With Cosima, she was so gentle. There was no battle for dominance.

 

My hands reached for her sweater and slowly I started to pull it off. Our lips never parted as I struggled to rid Cosima of her sweater and she startled me when she laughed slightly in my mouth.

 

“It’s stuck,” she whispered against my mouth and all I could do was laugh along with her. I felt like a teenager all over again, clumsy and nervous.

 

She finally succeeded taking off her sweater and wrapped her arms around my neck, pulling me back into a gentle kiss.

 

I sighed into her embrace and wrapped my arms around her waist, lifting her gently from the floor. Her back hit the desk as we moved forward and I picked her up even further, so she could sit comfortably on top of the table.

 

Her legs parted and I stepped between them, letting my hands roam all over her baby soft skin at the base of her back. I felt her hands slide up my top and I couldn’t help but moan into her mouth at her electrifying touch. I pulled away from her lips and she looked startled for a moment, probably thinking she did something wrong. I quickly pulled my top over my head and threw it nonchalantly to the floor.

 

Cosima’s eyes roamed the front of my body and I couldn’t help but feel confident with the way her eyes were focused on me.

 

“You’re so beautiful,” Cosima whispered as she leaned forward and placed soft kisses against my stomach. Never in my life would I have thought another woman could make me feel this way.

 

I slowly brought my fingers to the back of my bra and popped it open, letting it fall forward gently as Cosima continued to place gentle kisses along my stomach.

 

I started to pull my arms out of the straps and before I could even do it fully, Cosima’s kisses had traveled up towards my left breast.

 

“Mhm,” I moaned out, feeling Cosima’s tongue trace circles around my nipple while her other hand gently massaged my right breast.  

 

“God, Delphine,” she sighed out, releasing my nipple with a popping noise and immediately latching onto my other breast. My knees felt weak and I could feel them began to shake.

 

“I…I can’t stand anymore,” I breathed out raggedly. Cosima released my breast from her mouth and nodded. She hopped off the table and reached out for my hand. I placed it gently in hers and she guided me towards her room.

 

We stopped in front of her bed and I watched her grasp the hem of her pants and lower them down her body. She reached back towards her shirt and bra but stopped and looked up at me.

  
“Would it be okay if I…” she trailed off letting me know she wanted to undress further. I quickly nodded my head and watched as she lifted her shirt above her head and unhooked the clasp to her bra.

 

“Wow,” I mumbled to myself. I’d seen another woman’s breasts before but never in a situation like this.

 

Cosima smiled and pushed me back gently on the bed. She reached for my skirt and silently asked if it was okay that she took it off. I nodded slightly and she leaned forward and placed her lips gently against mine as she slid the zipper down my skirt.

 

I sighed out at how comfortable I was. I felt Cosima tugging slightly on my skirt until it was fully off, along with my pantyhose. I was now left in my panties and I closed my legs, embarrassed at the wet spot I knew was there.

 

I knew Cosima had seen it and I shook my head beyond embarrassed. I felt Cosima’s hands traveling up my legs from the bottom up. Her touch sent electric currents all throughout my body and I couldn’t help but let another moan out.

 

“Can I take these off?” she asked softly, her hands coming to rest at the top of my panties. Her fingers stroked the skin just above my panty line and my body jerked slightly, shivers running up and down my body.

 

God, what the hell was I doing? Here I was lying down on my back, almost completely naked. Wasn’t this supposed to be the other way around? I was supposed to be the one seducing her and pleasing her. I was supposed to be the one making her weak in the knees. But in all honesty, I didn’t know how to please a woman. I knew what _I_ liked in bed, but who’s to say that all women are the same?

 

How was I supposed to seduce Cosima if I didn’t even know how to seduce her in the first place? I didn’t know what she liked? What if she didn’t like something and I ended up trying it?

 

“Delphine?” Cosima asked snapping me out of my wandering thoughts.

 

“We don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with,” she said shaking her head looking slightly concerned.

  
“I want to,” I whispered up to her gently. I grasped her cheeks in my hands and pulled her forward. Our lips met in the middle and I sighed into the kiss. God, I was a horrible person. Cosima was an amazing person, so sweet and gentle with me.

 

If only she knew what the motive was behind all of this. I thought this would be easier. I’ve seduced many men before in my life. I didn’t think this would be so different. But here I was, not in the slightest bit of control in the situation. Cosima could tell me to jump on one foot and I would probably do so.

 

There was something about her that had a hold on me. She was pulling me in, and there was no going back.

  
“Take them off,” I whispered into her ear. She nodded as she slowly hooked her fingers into the waistband of my panties. The silky material brushed against my body on the way down and I could feel the wetness that coated the material.

 

Cosima gently pulled my legs out of my panties and I watched as she tugged hers down her smooth legs as well.

 

I leaned back against the pillow and watched as Cosima climbed on top of me, setting her body down right on top of mine. Her weight was rested on her hands so as to not place all her weight on me.

 

I pulled her down by the back of her neck and opened my mouth, waiting for her lips to join with mine. Cosima’s hands trailed up and down the sides of my body and I shivered each and every time she moved them. Her touch was becoming addicting and I couldn’t get enough.

 

I trailed my hands across her back and continued to move downwards. I slowly caressed her backside and Cosima moaned gently in my mouth. That was beginning to be one of my favorite things. Feeling and hearing Cosima’s moans, moans that were caused by me.

 

“Can I touch you?” Cosima asked breathless as she moved her fingers so they were resting right below my bellybutton.

 

“Yes, please,” I begged, longing for her to touch me _there_.

 

Her fingers slowly and teasingly moved down my body and the moment they came in contact with my most sensitive part, I let out a long and breathy moan that I couldn’t hold any longer. What was this girl doing to me?  


“I’m so wet,” I breathed out, not believing how easily her fingers were sliding against me. The sound of her fingers rubbing against me, coated in my wetness was starting to send me over the edge. I could feel my body began to pulsate, knowing my peak was about to hit at any time.

 

Cosima brought her lips back to my own and her fingers moved upward. Her middle finger circled over and over again against the most sensitive part of my body and in less than a couple of minutes, my body was shaking uncontrollably. It was getting hard to breathe so I had to break our lips apart and gasp for air.

  
Cosima’s lips went immediately towards my neck and I moved to the side, granting her as much access as I could give her. Her middle finger continued to draw slow circles down there until I couldn’t take it anymore. I grasped my legs shut and shook as she pulled her hand from between my legs.

 

I watched as she examined her fingers, covered in my juices. I watched her bring her fingers up towards her lips and suck them clean. Her tongue slowly moved up and down her fingers, making sure to get every last drop that coated them.

 

“Mon dieu, Cosima,” I said grasping the back of her neck and pulling her down towards me once again. Her tongue danced with mine as we lay there and kissed each other for I don’t know how long. Her lips were now an addiction. An addiction that I knew I could never get enough of.

 

My mind went back to what I was really here for and I cursed myself knowing that I would have to somehow get Cosima out of her apartment.

 

Our lips broke apart and I stared up at Cosima. Her lips were slightly swollen from all of our kissing and I wanted nothing more than to bring her lips back against mine but I knew I needed to get this done.

 

“I don’t know about you, but I’m starving,” Cosima said running her hands gently across my bare stomach.

 

“Mhm, me too. I would kill for some ice cream right now,” I said, praying that she didn’t have any here in her apartment.

  
“Mhm, really? Well your wish is my command. I’m going to run out and get us some eskimo pies,” Cosima said leaning forward and pecking me softly on the lips before getting up. She reached for her red coat and slid it on, not bothering to put anything else underneath.

 

“Eskimo pies? I don’t think I’ve heard of them,” I said honestly.

 

“Well prepare yourself. You are about to become addicted,” she said sliding her glasses back onto the bridge of her nose.

 

“I think I already am,” I said as I trailed my eyes up and down her body.  


Cosima smiled down towards me and I couldn’t help but feel extremely guilty for what I was about to do. I came here for a reason though and that was to find out information.

 

“I’ll be right back. Don’t move,” Cosima smiled as she made her way towards the door. She turned back slightly and smiled once more before opening and closing the door behind her.

 

I flung the covers off my body and got up, knowing I only had a small amount of time to find what I was looking for.

 

Time to get to work.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it. Let me know what you think.


End file.
